Letter to X

Dear X,

I know you are suffering right now, and I cannot even explain how terribly sorry I am for that. But I just wanted to let you know that you are loved.

You are not alone.

At least once in every single person’s life, they will go through the exact same feelings as you; believe me. And I know that right now, the possibility that someone has identical emotions as you do seems impossible, but trust me; it is very possible. God; I can’t even put into a sentence how much I understand you. I get it. You feel worthless. Helpless. Completely, utterly, irrevocably abandoned. No one is trying to desert you; they are simply scared.

Honestly, you are not even doing a good job of hiding it. No one can. People notice the frequent runs to the bathroom and hear the retching behind the door. They can tell when you have not slept the night before because you were up worrying; the dark circles under your eyes tell all. And the puffiness of your eyes is the worst, am I right? Everybody can tell that you cried yourself to sleep, yet again.

Please do not make any rash decisions.

Oh, do not even try to deny it. I know that you planned out how to… you know… commit suicide. I found your plan. Well, do not do it. Do you even know how missed you would be? You do not even how much of an impact you have had on so many people. Also, I am so very sorry to say this, but you would be acting so fucking selfish. Yeah, that is right. I am not trying to sound unfair or cruel; I simply care about you. And I know that I am not a particularly close friend or family, and I don’t even know if they are doing anything about your little situation, and it really isn’t any of my business. Just…

…Talk to me.

I am sorry if this letter sounds harsh; it is called tough love, sweetie. The best writers in the world could not put my pure adoration and anxiety for you into words.

I swear that I will always be there for you. Through thick and thin, sickness and good health, and all that other crap, I am always ready to talk. Please, oh God, please talk to me.


-Hayley M.