Ruminations (It was a long night...)

When ice cream starts melting, how does it still stay brain-freezing cold?

Life would be a lot harder if nobody lied.

I do not believe in love at first sight. Maybe an instantaneous attraction, but never immediate love.

I have not even met you and I already sort of love you.

Things I hate: malicious people, an unmade bed (but I don’t mind a messy room), pants, and Miley Cyrus.

Procrastination gets shit done.

It is all our parent’s fault.

How much of our life is controlled by fate and how much depends on our own will?

How do you spell “gray”? Is it “grey”, or “gray”? Come on, people. Choose one.

Are we really living? Or is this “life” we know of just some person’s dream, and when they wake up… poof; we disappear?

No, I do not want to go to your four-year-old sister’s birthday party. I am, in fact, terrified of small children and clowns.

You do not have big boobs. You wear bras two sizes too big, but big boobs is something you will never have.

Being eccentric does not mean that I am constantly high.

People who say they do not get hangovers are bullshitting you.

Why are Belle and Sebastian’s song titles so goddamn long?

People who make all those “Go Green!” flyers are hypocrites. Think about it.

Do animals have their own language?

What do hipsters think when they dress themselves? Do they say, “Oh, do these Buddy Holly-esque glasses match with my purple American Apparel sweatshirt and grey skinny jeans?

It is always embarrassing looking at my guy friend’s web history.

What even is a water tower?

Whenever I found out a celebrity lives in my area, I flip a shit and become immediately obsessed with them.

Are the people who make Lifetime movies being serious?

Although very talented, Lady Gaga is an attention whore.

Whenever people say, “Why are you still single?” to some people, I always want to say, “Because they have bad teeth, are not funny, and do not have an actual personality.”

I just really hate people who exercise excessively.

The only thing I dislike more than people who exercise excessively is when those people try to get me to work out with them. It is like, “No, leave me alone. I am not going on a 4-mile hike with you. So let me get back to my Cheetos and computer, please. Thanks.”

I cried for an hour when JD Salinger died. RIP