Inspiration-Gone, Gone

I am so sorry we have not spoken in a while.
There is a reason for my longtime absence.

I have lost my inspiration.

For some unfathomable reason, I am not seeing the world as golden,
Or even dark anymore.
Life is just a blank grey slate, waiting to be scribbled on by something.
The only problem is, I have no idea what that something might be.
It is an arising in my chest, struggling to burst out.
But for some reason, this emergence will never break free.
There is an urge to scream.
Yell.
Get all the inner emotion out, leaving a completely bare palette,
Ready to be painted with the vibrant colors of my life.

Maybe I need a fiery romance,
To distract me from my otherwise mundane life.
No.
That is not what I need.
Although I am missing love in my life, I cannot afford to be hurt again.
I am too tired, too weary of trying to make something out of nothing.

Perhaps I should read more books.
Sylvia and Jack have always been good friends to me.
But Sylvia,
She is too depressing.
And Jack,
He is not a fabulous influence, to be blunt.

But, perchance, all I require is a bit of time.
Solemn, desolate time.
Stone cold loneliness has worked its magic before,
So who is to say being isolated will not work again?
In spite of the fact that being companionless will only make me more morose than I already am,
I am willing to try anything.

So inspiration,
Please come home.
I miss you more than anything that has ever left me.
My very existence just does not have any meaning without you,
And a life without meaning is no life at all.